You can always tell when a wild animal has been held in captivity for an extended period of time. There's this glazed look that they get in their eyes...it's unmistakable. It signifies a loss of hope. The same can be said for those who have been single for an equally long stretch of time. And I'm not talking about a couple of months...let's just say this person hasn't had a real date since the last time Samuel L. Jackson made a movie that you actually wanted to see.

What's most unfortunate is many of those same people are unaware that they've even reached this point in their dating lives. So today will serve as a wake up call for them, as I'm going to officially unveil 5 Signs That You've Been Single For Way Too Long.


1- You've Become Out Of TouchIt's been a while since you've actively participated in the dating world. In fact, you probably can't even remember the last time you really enjoyed Valentine's Day. (Note: If the last time you had a Valentine was in the third grade, when your mom bought you that pack of cards that you passed out to your entire class...then that doesn't really count.) Now I'm not placing blame here. I'm simply pointing out the fact that you no longer understand how to date...or even how to interact with the opposite sex in a romantic setting anymore. Time has a way of doing that when you've been away from something for too long.

2- Desperation Sets InIt's gotten to the point where your dating standards have dropped to an embarrassingly low level. There once was a time when you would hold out for Halle or Denzel. Now you're content to settle for Bookman from "Good Times." Not to say there's anything wrong with dating a rotund janitor, but the fact still remains that before the drought you would never dream of settling just for the sake of being with someone.

3- You Read Too Much Into ThingsThis sign goes hand in hand with desperation. It's almost as if every little thing that someone does, translates into you thinking they're attracted to you. Now all of a sudden, your waitress wants to run away with you because she smiled and asked if you wanted extra cheese on your Whopper...or you begin to think your coworker is showing some definite interest because he opened the door for you and said "have a nice day." That may not be the case at all...you may just be suffering from a mild case of delusion that was brought on by an extended dating drought.

4- You've Become BitterSuddenly your views on dating are akin to watching Lauryn Hill's MTV Unplugged Concert or listening to Little Richard discuss the history of Rock and Roll, as all are filled with bitterness. Perhaps it's the past hurt you've endured that's hardened you so. Whatever the case, the fact still remains that you despise the idea of love. You're also quick to talk yourself and others out of being happy. So take a picture...you've officially become the poster child for "Misery Loves Company."

5- You've Become Too PickyThe greatest indicator that you've been single for too long is actually the opposite of being desperate. Instead of settling, you actually find fault in everyone. This sabotages your chances of ever finding happiness. Remember that one guy who was really nice, but you didn't like him because his right ear lobe hung a bit lower? Or what about the woman you shunned because you said she had unusually long elbows? The bottom line is that everyone has faults, but you can't use them as an excuse to stop trying altogether.

The Fly Conclusion-Throughout my travels, I've come across some amazingly beautiful people who are single...and have been for quite some time. This column was not directed towards them. Many of them have deliberately chosen the single path while on their journey of self-discovery.

There are however many others who lack a clear understanding of exactly why they're all alone...it kind of reminds me of how Jennifer Lopez must feel at her album release party. But unlike JLo's singing career, all is not lost. By addressing the signs and maintaining a positive outlook, the dating drought will eventually end. I'm sure of it.